We just had Halloween and most kids love dressing up. They like to dress up on non Halloween days too. We noticed more parents wearing costumes. Many adults like to pretend to be someone else just for a day. My parents made me be Bugs Bunny as I got older I wanted to be a fortune teller. I was alway teachers pet and well behaved. I think I was attracted to the more free lifestyle of my image of someone outside of the norm. (Plus the costume was easy)

Who are you?  What are the first three things you would say if someone asked you that question?

Our identity can be tied to our roles in family life like daughter/son or maybe sister/brother or mother/father.  Our identity can be tied to work-life such as a job we have now or had in the past.  It can go back to school when we were in my day a nerd, jock or gear-head.  Our identity can be from our cultural heritage.  It can be from a hobby or sport like I am a dancer, a scrap-booker or a runner.  Some people define themselves as their personality traits, I am an extrovert, shy or stubborn. I like to learn the history of someone I meet.  I often ask people what they wanted to “be” when they were in grade school.  The answer is alway a job or role and if that makes you happy it is great.  Are you what you wanted to be when you were young?  In grade school I wanted to be writer or a teacher.  Some times that early wish does not change.  I have taught fitness and yoga for twenty five years now and I still get excited about designing a new class.  I enjoy writing this newsletter feeding my inner writer.

Sometimes labels from others, especially those given to us when young, prevent us from doing what we want to do. My parents told me I couldn’t sing. They would not let me join the school choir as I wanted. I ended up in a General Music class. We were only allowed to sing TV commercial and TV show theme songs. My identity was a non singer. I only sang in church as every one was encouraged to sing there. Imagine my suprise when after a hymn on a few occasions different people told me I had a nice voice. I was horrible at softball, one of those kids who threw the ball straight into the ground. That lead to often being one of the last chosen. Even though I was made the track team in school, ran races and taught fitness I did not think of myself as athletic. On a cross country ski trip once a woman said to me, “Oh you can ski the long distances because you are so athletic.” I actually turned around to see who she was talking to! My unathletic label did not stop me from teaching fitness, but did lead to me being very unsure of my abilities in the early years.

We are always changing and growing with experience.  However, there is also a you that has always been there.  Someone you were before any role you chose and before any role that was imposed upon you.When I spend even just a few minutes each day reconnecting with myself I am much happier.  There is an essence of you that is timeless.  Spending time with yourself alone is often the only way to get back to your core and integrating it with your current self.    “…to have any real possibility of contentment I must cultivate a relationship with silence and with the ever new self that can emerge out of that silence.”  David Whyte