Daniel Goleman the author of Emotional Intelligence has written a book Focus – The Hidden Driver of Excellence. He writes about how we register the end product of our attention “without noticing the beam of awareness itself.” I know I miss the beam quite often. Think of a hobby you love and how everything else in the world fades as it easily commands your full attention. I am still trying to bring that kind of focus into more areas of my life.
Another focus is to really be present with someone in a conversation. Have you ever talked to someone and have been totally focused on what you will say next when they are done speaking? Often we don’t pick up on an emotion or even hear all their words, and this is something I have been working on for a long, long time. Our technology is increasing this issue. How does it make you feel when you are out to dinner with someone and they are looking at their phone the entire time you are together? Of course if there is a critical situation going on you may need to do this. I have heard of groups of friends making rules that the first person to look at their phone before the meal is over picks up the bill.
So what else gets in the way of focus? Worry is one for me. If worry prompts you to take action that can keep you safe or make your life better then it is valuable. We often worry about a situation without having the facts. Complaining can get in the way of focus. Guilty here, with all the extra snow and cold this year I’ve been a little whinny and focused on the hassle of extra time needed to drive and shovel and bundle up. It keeps me out of in the moment of magic of snow on the trees and the calm of being outside unplugged for a while. I committed to buying a cross country ski pass to refocus on the beauty of winter. I’m seeing more people on the trails with headphones in and talking on the phone while skiing. Multi tasking is another common detractor from focus. When I was a Project Manager I always worked during lunch while eating. Are your meals spent watching TV rather than focusing on your meal?
What about the larger meaning of focus as your direction? To keep on course we need to take time to consciously decide where to focus our time and energy. It’s part of why I quit my corporate job. My passion was teaching and I wanted to be in a direct helping profession. One of my other passions is live music and dancing and I’m so much happier when I do that. I’m focusing on that as the weather allows. I’m also focusing on reconnecting with some friends I don’t see too often. Vision boards can help with focus and then manifesting what bring us joy. I use words in my passwords to constantly remind me of a current focus.