Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified the stages of grief from a loss as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The stages don’t need to happen in this order. There are no time limits on these stages. Some psychologists think many in our society are stuck in the anger stage. We can get stuck in any stage. I lost my mom at 19 and dad when I was 27. I got stuck in another stage for a while resentment at what I missed with them. Gratitude got me out of that stage.

Our society is experiencing much loss. Natural disasters with loss of life and homes. Violence with loss of life at times and our sense of security. I’ve experienced personal loss, so this topic is on my mind. I like to look at the dictionary definition and destruction or ruin is one as in a habitat loss. Another is the act or fact of being unable to keep or maintain something or someone we can have loss of muscle mass or a loss of self control. Loss is defined as the harm resulting from losing or being separated from someone or something. For example, her sudden resignation from the charity was a great loss to the community. We can also lose things we don’t really already have like losing a game or sleep. Since many of us are working on our taxes, another definition is an amount by which the cost of something exceeds its selling price.

In olden times people wore black and were not expected to go to social events after a loss, sometimes a year of mourning. If you met someone you knew they were grieving. Cultures handle loss in many different ways. Native American Lakota tribe elders use the phrase we are all related. The death of anyone in the tribe is felt by all. The Buddhist Tibetan mourning period following a funeral lasts 49 days. This is also a more collective gathering as the family makes clay figures and prayer flags.

When I was very young I had a widowed aunt who cried for my uncle for years at every Holiday party. While in Egypt tearfully grief after seven years would still be seen as healthy and normal. In Western U S society intense grieving after 12 months is call prolonged grief disorder. Maybe someone does need help however maybe they were not allowed to grieve during that 12 months. Everyone handles loss and grief differently. Our society can go a long way in helping with grief and loss.